EXAMPLE 1: A great-aunt that I hadn’t seen or spoken to in years was offended that her kids might not be invited. She actually got on the phone to complain to my maternal grandmother.
EXAMPLE 2: My biological father told me not to forget to invite my grandmother and her husband. I barely have a relationship with the biological. My relationship with his mother is nonexistent. I don’t even know her husband’s name!
EXAMPLE 3: One of my ex-boyfriends called to ask if he was invited. At first I thought he was joking. Unfortunately he was very serious. Needless to say my answer of “HELL NO!!!” wasn’t what he expected.
At first I would get extremely upset. These people who I barely spoke to were adding drama to what was supposed to be a happy experience. I was ready to hop on a plane and elope. It was a horrible feeling that I wouldn’t wish on ANYONE!!! Here are some things to keep in mind that will hopefully prevent anyone else from entering guest list hell.
1. Remember that the most important thing is your marriage not the wedding. The wedding is just one day. Your marriage will (hopefully) last forever. If you put it in this perspective, you won’t be so stressed about little things pertaining to the one day.
2. It’s about you and your fiancé. Your wedding day is the one day where you can say it’s all about you. Now I’m not saying to go overboard and become a bridezilla, but you can’t be concerned with trying to make everyone happy.
3. Someone that you haven’t spoken to in years doesn’t need to be at your wedding. Do you really need to invite your third cousin twice removed that you haven’t communicated with since your Sweet Sixteen?
4. Leave the drama makers at home. The person who always causes a scene, starts a fight or gets excessively drunk and throws up everywhere can stay at home. You don’t need any added stress.
5. Someone will inevitably be left out. Unless you have unlimited funds i.e. Platinum Weddings, you can’t possibly invite everyone.
6. Invite people for the love they give, not the gift. We all know that weddings are extremely expensive and that you hope to get good gifts out of it. But don’t let the fact that someone wouldn’t be able to buy you something prevent you from sending them an invitation. Make sure that the people you truly love and care about are there to witness your nuptials.
Keep these things in mind and hopefully you will have a smooth guest list process. Happy planning!
Spumant,
ReplyDeleteSpoken like a real future wife with properly placed priorities and focus! Most brides don't gain such insight until after they and the fiancé let a nightmare ensue and ruin the experience for them. Point #1 is the most important, but all of the facts you highlighted especially #3 are right on.
As a married woman of 5 years, wedding planner and as a friend to those with who have had'Payless' and 'Platinum' weddings, listen to this young woman. She knows what she is talking about! I'm proud to say that's my friend. Keep educating.